corn and tomato salad

two cans of corn

half a red onion

one package cherry tomatoes

garlic salt and pepper

warm large skillet with a small amount of olive oil, drain corn very well, and cut tomatoes in half. Chop onion to whatever size you like, I like small slivers, and you are ready to go. When you have the pan good and hot add corn, tomatoes and red onions. Season to taste with garlic salt and pepper. Toss and move the pan around frequently until all the liquid is gone. Then I like to take a bacon press to "roast the mixture" but be careful that you do not burn it in the process. This dish is extremely healthy and the roasted tomato and corn taste mixes well. Yummy!!

fitbit....

So my sister gave me a Fitbit and I synced it up and joined the website. This thing is awesome. It logs my every movement to the website and I can track my activity, weight, sleep, food and water. I seem to know its there so I have been a little more motivated to move. We will see how much this helps and if I can continue to track...

Little by little....

Well I did not do the best with the food today, but I have been able to work out for an hour everyday now. I feel like I have all the pieces of the puzzle, now I just have to fit them together. But it never fails just when I am unsure of things, I am reminded of just who I am. Kri

Today was a great day...

I am sitting here feeling so good. I worked out for over an hour today for the first time in a long time. I walked for 40 minutes, did the elliptical for 20 and even lifted weights for about ten minutes. And I ate well. It has been a while since I wasn't depressed or disgusted by the end of the day. Today I treated myself well. I don't know how tomorrow will go, but today I am happy.

Its late.....

And I am so sleepy. But I'm not hungry.  And I'm not gonna eat......

My Breakfast....

So I have been researching juicing and I think it might be a good idea to work some of these juices into my day. For breakfast today I combined about 100 calories of carrots with 100 calories of strawberries. I did not buy a juicer. My best friend bought me a very expensive blender years ago and I haven't used it much, but a juicer leaves some of the pulp behind. I want all of the veggies and fruit. I have heard some people say you cannot juice with a blender but i cut everything up to manageable pieces and then set the blender on liquify and just let it go for about three minutes. Perfection! and it doesn't taste too bad either! I have held steady with my weight while I have started my experimentation but today starts my first goal. In one month I want to be ten pounds lighter. It will be my 46 birthday. So here we go....

harder than I thought.....

This is so hard, harder than I thought. And it is all in my head. I feel like a science experiment. I keep watching the things I do from the sideline and wonder what I'm thinking. I am a victim of automatic thinking. But I don't believe in being a victim. I know I will battle through.....

there you go....

The scale...

Well, I fell off the wagon yesterday.  No, that's not right.  I jumped off.  Willingly. Its funny how quickly the guilt sets in. Over doughnuts. Damn they were good. So I got on the scale today.  It has helped to keep me honest in the past. And I set a date. October 28th. So 35 pounds by my two year wedding anniversary.  I will be smaller than when we got married. It is the weight I was at when we started dating. I will not let myself down.  I never stop starting over.

Fat Sick and Nearly Dead | a Joe Cross Film

Fat Sick and Nearly Dead | a Joe Cross Film 

I watched this film on my weekend and it was very interesting. Also has a link to their reboot site. Defiantly worth the look.

Lima Beans....

So I made dinner tonight, Salmon, sweet potatoes and Lima beans. I haven't had Lima beans in years and I never remember them tasting that good. Everything we ate was great but I enjoyed the Lima beans more than anything else. I hear people say I don't eat vegetables, and I certainly was one of them. But it amazes me already that I am discovering all these foods I did not even know I liked. I picked up a bunch of Kale in the store today. I put it back down. Baby steps......

This made me eat a banana......

Prunes...

I know this journey will be a challenge, but I think it will also be a learning experience. To that end...Prunes. I went to the store and really looked around, not the usual fly through. I took notice of every fruit, vegetable, and bean to determine what I really liked and what I should try. I remembered that I had really liked Prunes as a child (my Mother kept them around for other reasons) and I grabbed a container. Well, late tonight when I was having a sugar craving, they were sitting on the counter. I ate three and the sweets craving was gone. Interesting....More experimentation to follow.

my first day

Well I got through my first day. And how did I do? Not too bad. I lost it late in the day though and had a few cookies that were laying around the office. But I got back on track and went back to good food. I love mushrooms and tomatoes. And I walked for 25 minutes. It aint perfect, but it is a start.

Morning...

It's morning. Time to hit the ground running. wait...breath. that's what I have been doing. Time to reset. Stretch. child's pose and a prayer to the universe for all I am blessed with. Good health, Good wealth, peace and peace of mind. And love. abundant love. Why good health you say? Because my diagnosis came from my behavior. And my health will only improve from this day forward because I am resolved to make it so. I have had enough of this shit. And I am the only one who can fix it.

Dammit!

Well, as the kids say, shit just got real.

Let me first do a little backdrop for the folks at home. I am the Goddess, and when I say that, I mean it. I love myself, even with all my faults and my shortcomings. And I, like everybody else, have many. Perfection is unattainable and quite frankly boring.  The universe don't make junk, and I believe we are ALL fucking fabulous. The problem is that most people have no idea who they are when they look in the mirror.

I am 45, a redhead, and I have lived a absolutely fabulous life. Traveled, loved, learned, and put a hand out to others when needed. And I intend to continue to live a fabulous life with one exception. Apparently I am gonna have to grow up a little bit.

I have been diagnosed with a enlarged aorta and insulin resistance. And I am not even surprised. I have lived a life at ninety miles per hour and I am selfish and spoiled. I want things my own damn way, and I certainly don't want to fall in line with clean living and give up massive amounts of chocolate,cheese, and wine.

Dammit.

So here we go. Shit's gotta change, and change rapidly. I have been married almost two years (in October) to the absolutely, most wonderful man alive. Why he puts up with me I'll never know. Of course I am a blast at parties so maybe it's the entertainment factor. I don't want to have ten years and then leave this earth without the benefit of his company till I grow old. So it's time to get up off the couch and do the shit I knew I was gonna have to do someday. Someday's today.

So I am going to have to learn to do the right things, but I am going to learn to do them my way. Exercise, I like it. I like the idea of exercise more than actually doing it. So I have been hit or miss. So that will have to change. And eating, that's gonna be a struggle. I am a hedonist, and more of a good thing is fabulous.

Moderation. Shit.

So why am I here? Because if I am gonna keep my sanity, I am gonna have to purge this shit from my soul so it doesn't back up and make me absolutely batty. So putting my feeling to the pen, so to speak, gives me a release.And a gauge. If I am gonna have to hold my self accountable, I can't do it in secret. I have an eating disorder. Why? Cause I didn't have a great childhood? Nope. Nothing more than automatic thinking. I love food and I don't understand why I can't have what I want. But what I truly want is more important than food. When it's my time to go, I will have no regrets whatsoever. But I am not in a hurry to get to the graveyard.

The Goddess